F.E.A.R. – Face Everything and Rise
This article was first published in the Hindustan Times on Dec 12, 2014. All rights reserved with Hindustan Times.
Fears- those crippling, paralysing, imaginary horror stories written by our own minds. Fears- those bad-sad-tragic-ending stories we tell ourselves. Fears – an exaggerated perception of pain.
Fear- the debilitating realisation that your mom has been right all along (… and this one is a killer! Especially if your mom never lets you forget it)! Imagination- a tool to be used positively, but sometimes it gets the better of us and we use it to torment ourselves.
So post creating this traumatic imaginary story in our heads, there are two options we are faced with- forget everything and just run, or face everything and rise. In case of the former, fear is like a dog that runs after you when you run. You will eventually get exhausted running and the dog enjoys, gaining power over you. But if you stop running and face it, the dog just slinks away.
Mission accomplished. Fear, leads to so much of unnecessary hate and suffering, that it has a lasting impact on anyone. It empties you off your strength and makes you weak- it is a terrible thing to have when it gets in the way of enjoying our lives. Fear is similar to faith, but in the wrong direction.
Fear and worry are a part of life and love. When we are intensely connected with anyone or anything, there is always that fear of losing it. A mother fears for the safety of her children, a businessman who has invested his life’s savings without seeing any results is fearful that he may lose it.
Soon this fear spread- the mother starts keeping her children close to her, the businessman starts pushing himself harder to feed his fears. In no time, it turns into an obsession and they start living for the obsession alone, regardless of whether they are enjoying life’s journey or not.
Here’s where we need to realise that the greater wisdom of life is to not be enslaved and controlled by fear. If fear comes too close, look at it in the eye, realise that we are the masters that created it, challenge it, laugh at it and it will lose potency and be uncreated.
Fear, especially of the unknown, keeps a lot of people from leaving bad situations. It is thus, important to consciously shake off the doubts and go easy on yourself, knowing that it’s all in our minds. Sometimes, the solution is right in front of us but has been overlooked due to our over-thinking, over-analysing and trying too hard. Stop. Take a deep breath. Understand that for everything you have missed, you have gained something else. It is all about your perception.
Marianne Williamson in her book A Return to Love, beautifully writes- “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light and not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be…your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do….and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others”.
When we create fear in our minds we become our own worst enemy. A brave person is not one who has no fears. A brave person is one who in spite of feeling fear faces it head-on and conquers it.
Note: Kamalrukh Khan is a Mumbai-based Clinical Hypnotherapist and Wellness Coach. She’s intuitive, strong and positive and loves travelling. She believes travelling to a new country is the best education she can give her kids. Painting and flying a plane or chopper top her bucket-list.