Relationships are always worth the effort.
This article was first published in the Hindustan Times on Apr 05, 2015. All rights reserved with Hindustan Times.
Making an effort to do something denotes interest. Simply the act of making the effort to start or change something to achieve a desired goal, takes one miles ahead of others. We owe ourselves the effort to take care of our health, to be happy. It’s not about being perfect – but when you bring that effort single-mindedly, every single day, that’s when transformation happens for the better; that’s how situations change and problems dissolve automatically. The greatest satisfaction is in the effort put, rather than the actual attainment of goals. To have been true to oneself is a personal victory.
The biggest difference between a quitter and someone persistent is that one tiny moment where the quitter, in exasperation, says, ‘That’s it. I can’t do this’, and someone doggedly persistent says, ‘I am going try for a little longer. I know I can do this’. It may take thousands of such tiny moments, but in the end, someone persistent always gloriously succeeds, and is able to look back without any regrets. As John Di Lemme rightly said, ‘The key of persistence will open up any door that has been closed by resistance’. This applies in most failed relationships too, (be it between spouses or siblings or parent and child) where they did not realise how close they were to achieving their goal when they gave up. Their impatience and ego made them walk away from something they wanted, and now have to do without. What a tragedy to love oneself so little as to walk away from something truly worthwhile!
Relationships are always worth making the effort for.
Each of us on this planet have to play certain roles – that of a parent, a child, a spouse, a friend. Each of these roles is an important part of our existence and efforts have to be made to play our roles to the best of our abilities. Too many people make excuses for not succeeding in playing their roles due to their laziness. Replace excuses and laziness with efforts and everything will fall into place. More than 75% of most problems in our lives are relationship related – be it in our personal lives or at the work place. When you make the effort to alter and overcome any negative trait within you, a positive shift in the on-going problem suddenly takes place, dramatically altering the situation.
In Love and romantic relationships too, it is not about finding the right person, but it is about making an equal effort to create the right relationship. As parents, making the effort to spend quality time with our children, counts. Children notice the effort parents put in and they in turn learn to do the same. It focuses a child’s attention on the right issues. Our work lives and jobs too require making an effort, which is directly proportional to increased and efficient productivity.
However, it’s true that sometimes effort can be tedious, painful and inconvenient – but it is worth all that. It took enormous amounts of persistence and efforts for scientists to find cures of diseases and illnesses and increase life-span; it took enormous amounts of efforts for man to go on the moon; it takes enormous amounts of unflagging efforts by activists to lift people out of their poverty and despair; it is the efforts of people that puts food on their tables and makes their dreams come true; effort educates, amuses, transports, protects countless people every day. Above all, effort satisfies. There is no greater feeling than the feeling of satisfaction knowing that you made a difference to someone or something that you love. It is a fundamental part of being alive.
As American author TF Hodge very rightly said, ‘The sky is not my limit…I am.’
Note: Kamalrukh Khan is a Mumbai-based Clinical Hypnotherapist and Wellness Coach. She’s intuitive, strong and positive and loves travelling. She believes travelling to a new country is the best education she can give her kids. Painting and flying a plane or chopper top her bucket-list.