Feel Free to Choose
This article was first published in the Hindustan Times on Feb 21, 2015. All rights reserved with Hindustan Times.
I count the freedom of choice as one of the many blessings in my life. No matter how bumpy the road, no matter how tough the situation, my right to choose my own road in this journey of life is sacred. Making my own choices empowers me. I have definitely made some wrong choices and paid the price, but I have learnt to never regret choices made as they brought with them wisdom and valuable lessons that would never have been learnt otherwise.
We make choices all the time — those that work for us that we deem as ‘good’ and those that don’t, we deem as ‘bad’. And what is ‘bad’ for one may be ‘good’ for another, so essentially no judgements there! We do not need societal rules, peers, and definitely not religion, to be able to choose between what is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ for each of us individually. All we need is empathy, to be accepting of our choices and those of others. Everything in our lives is a result of the choices we have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice. It’s that simple.
Each day when we wake up, we have a choice to determine the attitude for that day. We can choose to wake up with positivity and gratitude for all that we have, and also for all that we don’t have like illnesses, diseases, accidents, pain, etc. It is this attitude that sets the mood for the day. Also, what has been a revelation for me over the past few years is the need to be more generous with myself. I have learnt to forgive myself for my wrong choices — I did what I could do best at that point in time, but now I choose to move on. I realise that I may not be able to choose things that happen to me, but I can choose how to react to them, which would change the whole meaning of the experience. I learnt that I am not what happened to me. I am who I choose to be.
All that said — making a choice can be very tough. One of the reasons most people avoid making choices is that choice equals change, and most of us try to minimise the trauma of change in our lives. However, taking risks is part of finding triumph, though it may sometimes not seem like such a good idea then. One of the hardest choices to make for me is always whether to walk away or try harder. At such times, I know I have made the right choice when I feel a sense of calm and peace in my heart, and I feel the stress leaving my body, mind and life.
As Paulo Coelho very aptly says, “Nothing in the world is completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day”. I have learnt that it is important to go through all experiences in life as only when we have experienced the ‘bad’ do we really appreciate the ‘good’. Sometimes the best things in our lives arrive by shattering of all the window panes.
If you have had a bad day, don’t let that spiral you out of control. Keep moving, get back there and make a different choice — choose to see the positive side of the situation, choose to see the good in people, choose empathy and respect for self and others, choose a peaceful resolution, and choose to move on fearlessly.
As someone very wisely said that there are eventually only two primary choices in life: to accept things as they are or to accept responsibility for changing them.
Note: Kamalrukh Khan is a Mumbai-based Clinical Hypnotherapist and Wellness Coach. She’s intuitive, strong and positive and loves travelling. She believes travelling to a new country is the best education she can give her kids. Painting and flying a plane or chopper top her bucket-list.