The Child Within
This article was first published in the Hindustan Times on Mar 19, 2015. All rights reserved with Hindustan Times.
Children never cease to amaze me – their perspective of the world and their surroundings astounds me.
Everything is fresh and new and full of wonder and awe. Everything is worthy of a question. They keep you on your toes with their constant curiosity, and their open minds are receptive to the answers they get. They allow themselves much more freedom than adults, to say and do things. They have no inhibitions and are so active – they run, have fun, pick their noses and do whatever they want, whenever they want. The world is just so wonderfully free for them – just the way the universe intended for us to live. There is so much to learn from them.
And then they grow up.
As Paulo Coelho remarked, “A child can teach us three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be curious and to fight tirelessly for something”. My children have also taught me about love and the act of surrender; the act of surrender essentially means ‘I trust you’. My children are my healers and my stress-busters. They teach me that life is not as serious as I sometimes make it out to be; that it is great to be silly sometimes; that generosity is not only in giving but also in receiving. Allowing someone else to make you happy will make them happy too.
However, even when we grow up, there is still hope. Every adult has a child within. Tapping into those childlike qualities of sincerity, innocence, openness, trustfulness, forgiveness and naïveté within each of us, opens the floodgates of love and hope in relationships. To possess an inherent desire to learn and explore, not for the ego-driven opportunity or to prove anything to anyone, but for the sheer joy, love and excitement of it – that is being childlike. The most endearing childlike quality is to be non-judgemental and believe in the best of a person, until shown otherwise.
It has to be noted however, that there is a big difference in being childlike and being childish, the latter often synonymous with immaturity, foolishness and petty behaviour.
The quality of our actual childhood years dictates how we spend our adulthood. People act out today, what happened yesterday, in most situations. Sometimes, when things come up in our adult lives which remotely resemble any childhood fear or trauma, the adult will ‘appear’ to act but it’s the child inside who is behaving that way. So it is imperative to trace where in childhood, these reactions came from in ourselves and heal that inner child.
This will facilitate in the ‘growing up’ of that child within us. If the root of these emotional behavioural patterns is not traced, it can cause mis-understandings and hurts in our adult lives and subsequently the lives of our children, and the cycle goes on. As it is important to impart good upbringing to our children, it is also important to bring up that child within each of us first and be free from the hurts of the past, through necessary forgiveness.
As we grow, we are pushed towards more logic, reason and facts. Keeping our imaginations sharp like children and thinking out-of-the box is highly recommended. So the next time in the face of a challenge, let go of some of the self-control and re-ignite that childlike imagination and more creative solutions will be found.
To commit to living each new day, bubbling with childlike zeal and enthusiasm; to re-acquaint ourselves and celebrate the child within us; to recognise our inner childlike selves shining and brimming with light, love and happiness – that is true living.
Those with eyes to see will see your light and be enchanted by it.
Note: Kamalrukh Khan is a Mumbai-based Clinical Hypnotherapist and Wellness Coach. She’s intuitive, strong and positive and loves travelling. She believes travelling to a new country is the best education she can give her kids. Painting and flying a plane or chopper top her bucket-list.